whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
