even my farts smell like vagina
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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