I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
