I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
