dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
