She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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