I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
