Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
