We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
