This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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