I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Can I color on your dick again?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
