No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
