I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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