Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
