Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
