you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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