You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
