We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Acid is not a monday night drug
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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