Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
