I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
