we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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