Its about making memories worth repressing
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
