If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
