oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
