pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
