I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
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