need another drink. this is the easiest way
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
