Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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