I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
