I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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