I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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