If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
