I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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