I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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