The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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