I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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