you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
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For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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