I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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