I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
me + whiskey = a bad person
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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