I CAN MOONWALK!
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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