The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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