Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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