Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
