There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
