About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
