shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Randomize
