So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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