i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
