ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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