Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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