Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
