It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
