using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize