As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
