Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
