I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
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