I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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