HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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