You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
