im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i think i have two assholes
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
