weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Farmville is her only friend.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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