I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
