I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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