I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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