counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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